Ask Me If I Care...

A recent trip to the emergency room with my wife for an asthma attack has provided me with probably the best example you could ever have of the difference between health care professionals with a bedside manner and those that don't. The doctors and nurses in the ER were awesome to say the least. They showed genuine compassion and through humor helped ease the stress of what was a potentially life threatening situation. Even though the staff were keeping the mood light it was clear that they were taking the problem very seriously and that there was a lot of work going on in the background. I was so impressed and grateful that we had such a good team that night in the ER. At the time we were unaware of just how critical the problem was and it's not an exaggeration to say things could have easily ended up with my wife dying. The staff were quick to start treatment and did what they needed to to help get things under control all the while using humor and compassion to keep stress down, something that could easily exacerbate the asthma attack.

I was so grateful that the contrast to our experience came much later after my wife had stabilized. I will never, ever understand why it is someone that completely lacks any form of social skill becomes a doctor. I'm not talking in the purely academic sense of a degree but instead of the ones that choose to become a doctor that will interact with patients like the shrew of a woman that was a pulmonary "expert" that visited my wife. This doctor lacked any form of a bedside manner and was void of any sense of compassion. My wife's condition even dropped off a bit after our brief encounter with her. It makes me shudder to think of how things could have turned out had she been the initial doctor in the ER. Save a patient that is unconscious I can't think of another situation that would bring someone to the ER that wouldn't be made better by a doctor that has the ability to diffuse stress and anxiety and to show some basic compassion for what the patient is going through. I know it seems like something trivial but the ability of health care staff to diffuse a patient's stress is vital in the initial stages of critical care so that the problem isn't being made worse by something that doesn't need to be in the equation.

Doctors such as "shrew woman" don't do patients any favors by being in the health care system. A doctor's ability to heal their patient doesn't just come from their ability to regurgitate knowledge it also comes from their personality. A doctor can tell you all the "scientific" reasons you need a particular course of treatment but without a sense that your doctor cares it just isn't as effective and in some cases could even make matters worse. A treatment can't just be sold on the merits of it will work because x+y=z there also needs to be a doctors ability to convince their patient that they chose the treatment based on that patient as an individual and a belief that the doctor actually cares if they get better. Compassion is critical to patient care and doctors that lack that ability need to be doing work in a research field where they won't have any patient interaction. The blame doesn't just lie with these "soulless" doctors it also belongs with the educational institutions. Schools need to have much more stringent policies with regard to a student's ability to interact with others. At an early stage students that lack a "bedside" manner should be encouraged to move toward a field that doesn't involve patient interaction and if they choose to stay their current course then they should take mandatory classes in patient interaction. If at the end they still cannot provide good, not adequate, patient interaction they either move off to a non-patient care field or fail out of the program.

I am so grateful that things turned out the way they did and thank the staff that took such good care of my wife in the ER and later in the pulmonary ward. They are all so awesome at their jobs and were a prime example of how a balance between smarts and humanity make for a faster recovery. As for people like "shrew woman" they need to be in a research lab or locked in a room and used only as consultants on cases.

Obilivous or A Jerk in Oblvious Clothing?

"I didn't see that no left turn sign", "Oh that was the exit door not the entrance?", "Was that a one way street? Oops.", "I thought my garbage went in the can, my bad", "Sorry wasn't paying attention to where I was going when I walked into you standing there". I could go on but I think you get the message here. There are people out there that seem to go through life with blinders on. They don't pay attention to their surroundings and are baffled by all the little incidents they get into daily. So are these people just addle minded or is there something more sinister going on here? I think that there are people that genuinely go through life in a daze but I also firmly believe that there are those that only pretend to be that way. Now why would one want to pretend to be oblivious to everything going on around them? Simple, what better way to be a complete jerk and get away with it? If someone bumped into you on purpose you'd be pretty angry but if they "accidentally" bumped into you because they weren't paying attention then they could just apologize and move on without incident. Better yet they may even get an apology from the person they wronged. For these people it's all about being passive aggressive. They decide, for whatever reason, they don't like something but instead of being rational and trying to fix it they charge in to try and meet out their own brand of personal justice. Whether it's because they feel that road shouldn't be a one way, the entrance door should have been closer to where they parked, it's stupid that you can't turn left at that light and so on these people do what they want and then claim "I wasn't paying attention" to get away with behavior they know is unacceptable. So next time someone "accidentally" does something because they weren't paying attention take a good look at them, maybe they aren't what they seem.

Why Did the Pedestrian Cross the Road?

Have you ever been driving down the street and you see a pedestrian getting ready to cross when suddenly they bolt off the curb and as soon as they get in front of your vehicle they stop their sprint and start a casual walk? What would compel a person to suddenly stop their hasty crossing right in front of a mass of metal and glass that will easily win the contest of who will survive this collision? I can only see two possibilities here. 1) They have a death wish and are looking to you to do their suicide dirty work for them. If you don't hit them then no big loss they can just try it again later. If you're that keen on ending your life that way get a sign like Wiley Coyote did, maybe you'll get lucky and someone will help you out. 2) These people are like the people with loud vehicles, they crave attention. All I have to say to those people is that in 5 minutes the only thing I will remember is you were some generic moron and in 20 minutes it will be like you never even exist. Your cry for attention, to be noticed, remembered will all have been in vain. My mental picture will have an <> where your face would be. If you want that much attention slather yourself in some raw meat and head to your local zoo and jump in the lion's pen. At least that way you will have made the news and maybe someone will have remembered you.

Good, Good, Good Vibrations?

Well summer is nearly at an end and while I enjoy the warm temperature and lush greenery around me I'm also glad that soon I won't have to listen to the infantile rumblings of motorbikes and cars with modified mufflers. You know these people, the ones with the vehicles that rattle windows, shake foundations and generally annoy everyone around them. I will never understand the need these people have to use obnoxiously loud vehicles. I suppose they could be deaf and want to "feel" the vehicle to make sure it's running but I kind of doubt that. I expect it has more to do with the person's need for others to pay attention to them. Perhaps in their everyday life they are the kind of person that no one pays attention to and just exist in the background but when they get in or on their noisy vehicle of choice suddenly it's "Hey everyone look at me! You can't ignore me now even if you wanted to can you?!". Here's an idea, how about you go out and make some friends so that the rest of us that could care less about you or your noisy vehicle can enjoy our peace and quite. The world is noisy enough with all the "background" noise of daily life without some jerk with an insecurity complex trying to make us all pay attention to them. For those of you that have these vehicles and say "but I don't need people to pay attention to me, I just like it" you fall into a different, yet more disturbing category. I can only guess that you do it because in some way the vibrations from your vehicle somehow allow you to perform some form of self gratification. My advice to those is there is therapy for people that require an audience to perform, seek it out.

Turn Signals, They Aren't Just For Breakfast Anymore.

Yes it's time for yet another pet peeve of mine. Why is it people can't seem to grasp the simple concept of the turn signal? The turn signal was designed to let others around you know what you are planning to do with your 1 ton pile of potential death on wheels. You need to change lanes, turn a corner, turn down a roadway, park you car, etc you use the turn signal to notify the people around you of what you are doing. I'll make it even easier for you turn signal challenged. If you are not planning on continuing on in a straight line it's time for the turn signal. For those of you that can't be bothered to use your turn signal you deserve every accident you get into, it's just to bad you don't take into account the innocent person you involve in your lazy stupidity. This includes those of you that start turning THEN turn on your signal light. Your turn signal is to let others know what you are planning to do not what you are already doing. Remember, it's located on the steering column for your convenience so for crying out loud use it! It won't kill you to burn a fraction of a fraction of a calorie will it? Coming soon to a roadway near you, hazard lights...for broken down vehicles or lazy people?

They're Such a Great Person....

Have you ever had a bad encounter with someone or know a person that 99% of the population just can't stand and then someone comes over to you and says "they are such a great person...once you get to know them". Well I've got news for those people! How great of a person can they be if you have to get to know them to see it?! A great person, by virtue of calling them a great person, should stand out noticeably in some way. I'm not saying they should be in your face, flamboyant, loud or anything like that but you should be able to tell that the person is different in some way.

For me a "great" person is someone that thinks of others before themselves or is kind without expecting kindness in return. A "great" person finds the "great" in others that they themselves probably don't see. A "great" person looks to help improve the lives of those around them. I'm not saying that "great" people have to be saints or are infallible but they do stand out in the way they treat others. I'm by no means a "great" person and I know that but I also don't have a personality that warrants others saying "But he's such a great guy...once you get to know him". Those people are just jerks, plain and simple, with people that for some reason feel the need to make excuses for their bad behavior.

The Spam that Time Forgot

Okay we all hate spam right? I'm sure even the spammers hate getting other people's spam. But lately I've been getting spam that is even more annoying than just your regular plain old spam. I guess you could call it Back to the Spam for a good ole pop culture reference or Quantum Spam for the science fans. It's spam that is dated for something stupid like 1986. I've had one dated as early as 1986 and for Viagra no less. Nothing is more annoying than trying to find a "new" message among all your old ones. To the spammers that are doing this are you just lazy, stupid or is this some new marketing scheme for spam? I thought the point of spam was to try and get people to buy what you are selling. Do you think annoying them is going to help? Perhaps you are just lazy. If that's the case then the least you can do while trying to annoy us all and take up internet bandwidth is set your stinkin' computer clock!